NYC

/1 Comment/in /by

It’s an odd thing to sell your home. You fill out a bunch of papers, sign your name less time than you need to on a lease, get a check and your out the door. This should evoke a lot of deep-seated emotions of sadness, loss, wondering about the future etc.

Or you can hop on a plane and go get blisteringly drunk on the lower-east side. Yup, instead of spending my memorial day weekend pouting about the unplanned realignment of the Nation de Wade’s Domestic Agenda, I went to New York city for the first time. Some observations…

Sparks
Your first night in the city, regardless of your arrival time, it is apparently necessary to drink. A lot. To facilitate this process for late arrivals I was introduced to a Sparks, which near as I can tell, is the basic ingredients of Redbull and malt liquor. That’s how we kicked off – how it ended isn’t really fir for public discourse, but I’m glad the last stop for the evening was the bar in Kendra’s basement.

Stop One
Coffee for under $1 and cool guy working the counter named Ignacio, who my sister inexplicably calls Adrian.

Dash Dogs
“When a fat man behind a counter recommends something, you should always trust him. There’s a reason he got that way” Pineapple Chutney, Bacon and wasabi mayo on a beef-dog. Whoa.

Top-of-the-Rock
Best view of the city because you actually see the Empire State Building.

Moto
Cross the Williamsburg bridge into Brooklyn and you find yourself in an interesting hood. In a non-descript building that butts right up to the train track, inside a rusty door with the word ‘moto’ scrawled off to the side, is one of the coolest places I’ve ever eaten. Five Bottles of wine, three starters, French entrée’s that were better than anything I ever ate in France, Date cake, and a singer entertaining us with one hell of a voice. Good times, good folks.

Vertical Human Storage
The thing that really struck me about the place is the stackability. People on top of people on top of bars on top of subways. Places like Austin are only just now figuring out this mentality of city building whereas New York’s had a hundred years to perfect it.

A helluva city. Helluva time. Can’t wait to go back and see more. I think I could spend a month in the Lower-East side just taking pictures. Here’s what we got from this trip.

On the High Seas

/in /by

The following is a conversation with an ill-advised friend of mine.

friend: You think I should buy a house boat, instead of a regular house ?

me: No.

friend: Come on its be a great idea…

me: No it’s not…

friend: We could go out on the high seas. Actually if you’re going to spend the money I guess I should just get sail boat and live on that.

me: You don’t know who to sail.

friend: It’s probably like learning how to kayak, just get in the water and you’ll figure it out

me: Dude I don’t think that’s a good idea. Kayaking wasn’t supposed to be like that either.

friend: Dammit fatwade, we’ll be fine. We get into to trouble we’ll just get Germ’s dad (who works for BP) to send out some tankers or something to pick us up.

Dear god.

Sonora

/in /by

When they say in the fancy ads that we happy tax payers forked over a few million for, that Texas is like a whole other country, they’re only half right. It’s actually like five or six whole other countries. This weekend me and the skinny kid expatriated ourselves to Sonora, which is pretty firmly in the sub country we refer to as west texas. I’ve always loved this part of the state because there’s very few people, very few towns, the speed limit is 80 on the interstate and you really start to get the idea of what they mean by Texas being big. It’s a drive, a stretch of country, that’ll put you in your place in the universe. Small, wee and insignificant.

Anyhow our purpose was, much like the rest of this spring’s travelings, a bike race. The final race of the TMBRA series held at the X-bar ranch, a working cattle ranch that also has some cabins and some bike trails. The race was sponsored by the Sutton County Steak House. This fine purveyor of all things beef was running a special when we showed up for dinner on Saturday – $10.99 Steak Bits and Baked Potato. The waitress tried to plug it as ‘all the cutting work is done for you.’ Right. I’m still not sure what cut the ‘bit’ is and I didn’t want to find out. I opted for the deluxe burger with out really consulting the details of the menu. Ten minutes later the waitress sets a coronary-seizure-on-a-plate down in front of me. Bun + 1/3 lb patty + cheese + mushrooms+ grilled onions + thick slice of grilled ham + another 1/3lb patty + more cheese + bun. Only in West Texas. Oh yeah, it came with a baked potato. It’s not often I meet a burger I can’t take down but this one soundly defeated me.

So, like I said the whole reason we went out there was the race. The final in the series of which I’ve done three of the seven (hence the reason I have no standing what-so-ever in the points system). But this trail was built for me. Long flats, short technical climbs, manageable ledges and cows. Ok, the cows weren’t really my favorite part but they made it interesting. About mile eight after a fabulous start that left me in third and mild screwup on a climb that left me in ninth I was holding strong on fifth place, my best placing in this series to date. I crest a ridge to a gorgeous view and cows, two of them – moma cow and ed (the baby cow). Now we’d been warned that this was a working ranch and that there might be livestock on the trail, but I didn’t really take them seriously.

Cows are big. Like frickin huge. Ed was tiny by cow standards and he could have crushed me without thinking twice. And when when you’re chasing them down a trail on a very lightweight bike, the prospect of a 1200lb steak suddenly merging into your lane makes it clear that the powers-on-high are not only working some serious karmic payback for the animal-hater burger you consumed the previous evening, but are also once again using the flora and fauna of west Texas to impress upon you the insignificance of your person.

I finished the race without getting squished, held my place in pack, got a ribbon and only had one more encounter with the livestock when I whipped around a corner and came face-to face with Ed the baby-cow. He moved, but he left me a gift on the trail which managed to splatter itself nicely on my frame and my person.

Did I mention there were no hot showers out there ?

Good times (see the photos here).

Overheard on the IM

/in /by

I’m a master at the “stern but sweet, don’t mess with me, sounds like it’s your fault though its probably mine” voice…

With that voice, my sister was able to get me a daily subscription to the New York Times for the cost of the weekend version. Wow.

Moving

/3 Comments/in /by

This move has been an interesting one. A lot of firsts. First time with professional movers, a kick-ass concept where you pay people and they come and haul your boxes up to your new apartment for you, saving you gallons of gas (at $3/per that’s not to be scoffed at) and massive amounts of pain in suffering (specifically in the regions of Lumbars 3 through 5). This is also the first time i’ve owned a couch (on which my ass is currently firmly planted), a gaming console (oh great and powerful xbox, we do worship you), and a TV that’s almost as pretty as SOME of the art on my walls.

All that was pretty cool and the new apartment is pretty awesome as well. Living in Clarkesville is kind of like living in Italy (steep hills included) except with Texans and Mexican food (I would argue that most Austinites and most Italians are probably cut from the same cloth, but that’s for another posting).

No, the most shocking ‘first’ of this move was the storage unit. I’ve never actually rented one of these before, so it was little stunning to actually sit down and crunch the numbers (hang in here, We’re doing math). My 5′ x 5′ storage unit runs me approximately $2.72/per square foot, per month – more than twice what my apartment costs me. Put another way, if I paid the same in rent for what I pay for a cinder block locker on the outskirts of town, I’d be writing a $2000+ check each month.

Although. One most also consider the amenities. Oversized elevators, access codes, security camera’s massive gates, stark minimalist decorating, energy-efficient (green) lighting, interior exposed brick ? Not to mention free auto-billing for your rent ? Come-on people, you can’t find this kind of thing in a condo, for the price.

Sadly, as part of your renter’s contract (I signed less paper to get my car by the way) with Public Storage, I had to agree not to raise small animals or children (no kidding) in my 5′ x 5′ slice of cinderblock heaven. One would assume that one or both of of those labels also applies to me in some manner. So, it looks like we’ll be sticking in my 1940’s era apartment, with cool bistro, coffee shop and local grocery store in walking distance.

A better deal in the long run. This is a good place. Quiet streets, with vibrant life to them. Pedestrian life (I can go entire twenty-four hour periods without using my car). Two-prong (no ground) electrical outlets, scarce parking, pink-tiled bathrooms and interesting plumbing noises. That old building smell – a weird cross between a laundry mat and a wood shop, the detritus of decades of life, captured within four walls, suspended in the air. Old trees, views of downtown, and 5 minutes from whole foods by bike. Hell, I even saw a rat the other day (how’s that for character). This is a good place.

As old Bob said, everything is going to be alright.

If you can see this

/in /by

Then we’ve made the jump to the new server. Hey jiffynet – piss off!

On the Inter-Tubes

/in /by

Today marks my triumphant return to the internet. The last picture is hung in the new domicile, the new neighborhood is slowly being mapped by me and my single-speed, and all is right with the world. All told, the great domestic realignment of 2007 has gone off without to much trouble, broken glass or bones. But more on that later. Today we focus on the important shit – ways to waste time at work.

For the Aviation geek in all of us – Erkranoplans, or “Wing-in-Ground” (WIG) vehicles

Developed mostly by Soviets during Cold Wars years (by Rostislav Alexeev’s design firm) some of them were over 500 feet in length and had an estimated weight of over 500 tons! And yet they skimmed over the waves with grace, at high speeds, able to negotiate stormy conditions, unseen by radar – all thanks to an aerodynamic principle known as the “ground effect”.

An interesting read from the good folks over at Dark Roasted Blend – Read on…

For the comic geek – a top 20 of animal inspired superheros
The Top three are no-brainers but there are a few missing that, despite the following disclaimer, I still find objectionable.

Wolverine is NOT emulating a wolverine. Yes, I know he is little and scrappy with claws, but that is about it. I love Wolverine, but his intention is not to emulate a wolverine. He was given the codename due to his attributes. That is why he is not on the list. Deal with it!

Bullshit. Have you ever seen the haircut ? give me a break. Squirrel Girl makes number 15, but Logan is no where to be found ? That’s just wrong man. (Otherwise though, a quality list from Cardboard Monocle).
Read the rest…