VPOTUS

So this week has been a little crazy, as the Vice President decided to visit my place of work. Some observations from what can only be called a logistical nightmare that rivals my bike closet in terms of complexity and redundancy.

  • The Secret service will kill you. No lie. They are very nice, but those guys are fueled by octane-1000-badassedness. I think my camera just shut down at one point when one of the guys started giving me the eye for getting too close to the protectee. They have that kind of authority. I even asked one of the nicer ones if it would be a problem for them to be in our photos, he replied with a straight face, “We don’t show up in photographs.”
  • Heads of state apparently travel with their own podiums, which is a damn good thing considering if it had been up to us we would have raided the middle school down the street. The podium we had weighed 200 lbs and was named Falcon. The other, bigger one, is closer to 300, has a certain undisclosed amount of bulletproofedness, and is named Blue goose. I’m guessing they name everything right down to the ball point pens.
  • In order to visit our building the White House had someone install ‘extra phone lines.’ What this means is anyones guess, but all things considered, I’ve taken to saying hello to the NSA whenevery I answer the phone.
  • There’s nothing quite like getting to work and being greeted by a a swat team, and ambulance, the Fire Department and a line to get through security that rivals the airport at thanksgiving. You just know your day is going to be awesome.
  • I was allowed to follow the protectee around for photo purposes, separate from some of the press, so the secret service gave me a special ‘R’ pin (stands for ‘ridiculously-awesome’ (actually for ‘restricted’)). My theory is, they actually read all the anit-Bush items on this site before coming to visit and decided it’d be best to keep a close eye on me.
  • As a side note, the ‘R’ could have stood for rented-absurdly-large-lens-for-this-event. I could see hair follicles form 60 yards. Lets add this to the wade-robs-a-bank-and-goes-shopping list as it is definitely the single most badass piece of camera equipment I’ve gotten my hands on.
  • From the moment the VP steps in the door, to the time he exits, every step is planned. it’s a bit wild, they even have arrows and signage pointing out the bathrooms and the next stop on the tour, complete with presidential seal. The shear logistics involved in moving one person from place to place – at least 30 staff, four cars, two podiums, I’m guessing a 747, gads of secret service, plus accompanying police to shut down all the roads in town – it’s logistical phenomenon.

This whole set of shenanigans was two point success in that a) none of our stuff was form-tackled by the secret service (althou I think we came close)  and b) it’s over with and we can go back to doing whatever it is we do.

100 days

Via Facebook Newsfeed.

Rails

Did you know CapMetro can’t lay a single piece of track without holding an election? This and other issues related to the agency’s arcahic structure go a long way to explaing out current perdicament.

Secede? No. Divide? Maybe…

538 has put together an interesting take Texas’ unique to divide our state in to 5 separate new states. While  I object to some of the suppositions based on, well actually living here, it’s still an interesting read.

Guide Stones

On a hill in rural Georgia, instructions for rebuilding a civilization.

Waco

Bill Nye the Science Guy gets booed for a contrevsial lecture in Waco. The Topic of contention? That the moon doesn’t generate its own light, but rather shines because of reflected sunlight. Really, I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Twitter Explained

A well-worded defense of the micro blogging site from Jason Kottke. Points deducted for using more than 140 charachters.

At the Springs

trees

I went to Barton Springs for the first time this year today – and got most first glimpse of what the place will look like if the parks department and the inspiringly named Davey Tree Co have their say and remove 30 or so trees. Every tree you can see in the photo above is one of the condemned.

In a typical Austin fashion the city has attached multiple sheets of paper to each doomed tree with an inspiring quote on one side and the dates of the ‘additional public hearings’ on the other, intended as tear away so you can voice you opinion. As I was grabbing my own copy, I happened to overhear some conversation behind me. “I can’t believe they’re going to cut down the trees that’s the whole reason everyone likes Barton springs….” her friend replied, “I know! They’re crazy.”

This informed discourse was not between two deadlocked hippy-chicks, but two seven-year-old-girls walking down to the pool with their mom. I get it that we have  a shitty economy, a $30 million deficit, and a lot of issues that are a lot more important than this.  I also understand we regularly hand out millions in tax breaks to organizations like The Domain and Intel (remember that building the city had to pay to demolish?). This is a special place – the kids understand that – it might benefit us to put a little more effort into saving and maintaining at least a little bit of what makes it special. More importantly this is your government, so go raise some hell.

  • Staff Briefing of Austin City Council
    April 23, 2 p.m. (This is a presentation only with no public comment)
  • The Parks and Recreation Board
    April 28, 6 p.m. at City Hall
  • The Environmental Board
    May 20, 6 p.m. City Hall (This meeting is supposedly open for public comment).

The Way Forward

In taking a hard look at the systems of investment and retirement that we’ve established, we’re not going to like what we see.

…we’re in a strange moment in American history when a mouse-eating barefoot survivalist in the mountains of Arizona makes more sense than the chief investment strategist of Merrill Lynch.

I remember a couple of years ago being shocked to find out that my dad will have a pension when he retires. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be lucky to get anything, from my workplace, the government, or most especially the markets.

The Gear Closet

I spent last night doing few thing. There was HALO. There was some bike riding. There was some eating of wings (spicy ranch, you are a saucy mistress). Then there was the cleaning of my apartments equivalent of the garage, a 6’x5′ closet sandwiched between the kitchen and the bathroom. The goal of this domestic adventure, was to excavate enough old gear (to be relocated to a storage unit) to allow the accommodation of one of the three bikes currently inhabiting the apartment (the other two live in the dining room. really).

For me this was quite a trip down memory lane, as I’ve been collecting camping and climbing gear for almost two decades now, we uncovered a few treasures of questionable value.

  • The coleman backpacking stove that leaked fuel at the supply-line juncture. Nothing will keep you on your toes while cooking a camping breakfast like a small fusion reactor’s worth of flames over a puddle of kerosene. Safety first kids.
  • My very first camelback, or rather the remnants of the pieces of my version of my very first camleback: some PVC Tubing a sonic straw and a pump vendor water bottle that my dad grabbed me from a pump meeting (he attends his share of pump meetings). Why waste money when you can build your own.
  • Climbing gear. Lots and lots of climbing gear. Seriously, you’d think I was about to tackle Cerro Torre. Sadly though, as my fingers get sore from typing now days, that’s been relegating to the storage unit, with the caveat that it goes at the front, just in case we need it for the zombie war.
  • A truly alarming array of bike parts. My best guess is I could build at least two-and-a-half bikes simply from what’s still in my apartment. Again not the most useful use of storage facilities in a tiny living space, but handy for the zombie attack (given time, we could fashion wicked crossbows from derailleurs)  .
  • A sizable stash of dehydrated backpacking food: We’ll file this one under not useful for anyone, anywhere, ever. You could use it in a pinch if you were trying to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere and needed a back up heat-shield, but that’s about it.

Anyway, it’s was a bit of nostalgia for me to see all this strewn across the floor. Gone are the days when I was sure i’d spend most of my year sleeping in my car, bouncing around the various wild an beautiful places the continent has to offer. I’m sure 18-year-old me is a little pissed at the thirty-year-old-version who likes a glass/bottle of wine, works in an office, and if given a preference will generally sleep in a bed (although my mutant powers of being able to sleep anywhere are still strong). I’d don’t climb anymore, my Kayak hasn’t touched water in two years, and I haven’t been on a backpacking trip in quite a long while. Things change though, priorities shift. But at the end of the day, I’m certain that 18-year-old me would be pretty impressed with the coolness of my life, vagabond or no.

Also makes you wonder what 40-year old me is thinking right now.  Probably something along the lines of  ‘man, that kid was really smart to be so prepared for these zombies.’