Hippy Wars Would be Funny
To the Tall Hippy Who Almost Killed Me In the Gold’s Parking Lot on Saturday:
Look man, I wanted to apologize.
Clearly you were in a hurry as you slammed your junker 1985 Red honda into reverse out of it’s parking spot, directly into my state mandated right-of-way. And clearly, I should have figured out some other less abrasive way to avoid hitting you than coming to a screeching halt on my moped. I mean locking up both wheels was a bit over kill. It must have been really hard on you.
However, I don’t think my laying on the horn and giving you the finger was entirely unjustified. You obviously disagreed, as you were able to break away from whatever life-changing, world-altering mission you were on to bring the aforementioned honda to a screeching halt ( A lot of good tires were unnecessarily wasted this day ), jump out of the car and begin lobbing F-bombs my direction. I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
It was quite a funny scene really… you with your hippy-fro and chacos yelling at me on my wee moped with giant helmet and chacos. We had common footwear and we couldn’t get along…this makes me sad.
In hindsight, what I really regret here is that I didn’t use my state-mandated, impact resistant uber helmet to test the padding of your previously-mentioned goofy ass hippy-fro. Like say, as i ran you over with the wee scooter. Which wouldn’t really be painful so much as just extremely humiliating for you. Of course with your haircut, your probably used to that feeling.
So maybe it’s better the we just went our separate ways without trying to solve our problems like rational humans.
But like i said – My bad. My sincere apologies to you. I hope you got where you and your manly honda needed to go, without further hinderance from traffic of the two wheeled varietal.
This may be the single most asmusing thing you’ve ever written!