Clinton for President

Hillary Clinton will be the best president ever. Everywhere she goes, she fosters unity and patriotism, flowers sprout in her footsteps, puppies and kittens play together in her wake and god-fearing, apple-pie-eating-children flock to her warm manner as if she were a very skinny, east-coast-débutante version of Santa Clause. Like in Iowa where she’s encouraging college students to vote:

In a jab at Obama’s efforts to encourage out-of-state students who attend college in Iowa to caucus, Clinton said the caucuses are only for people who live in this state.

“This is a process for Iowans. This needs to be all about Iowa, and people who live here, people who pay taxes here,” she told the Clear Lake crowd. (Daily Kos)

Or the way she embraces her fellow running-mates…

A day after the Hillary campaign hit the Obama camp for bullying voters in nasty phone calls, the Hillary crew has just acknowledged that an Iowa county chair volunteering for the campaign passed along the now-notorious email that smears Obama as a Muslim by repeating the false claim that he attended a madrassa as a child. (TPM)

Ok, so maybe the dog is actually eating the kitten, the flowers are fakes planted by the CIA and the children are being herded by tazer-welding day care attendants. I’m as ready for an upgrade in leadership as anyone who’s been paying attention the last seven years, but is this really the best we can do?