The Gloriousness of the Twizzle

I’ll be honest, I totally dig the olympics, which is totally odd since I don’t ski, I live in Texas, and I’ve seen vast quantities of frozen water about three times in my life. Just the same watching the skiing is rad (Allison and I are actually toying with the idea of a ski trip next year), the snowboarding events this year were cool and the half-pipe is exceedingly groovy.

But Ok. What am I watching right now ? Ice Dancing.

Before we start leaving comments regarding my sexual orientation, let me tell you I haven’t laughed so hard at the prime-time television since Seinfeld went off the air.

First of all the announcers. Last night I was doing my thing, working on a friends website and I hear from the television in the living room:

Old man voice: “…well they are just oozing seduction.”

Former-figure-skater-turned-commentator: “I couldn’t agree more, Dick.”

Obviously, i shut the ibook, rounded the corner to see people in super-hero outfits and an ice skates being beamed to us from Italy. OMG.

Ok first, my out-raged diatribe: Of all the sports worthy of olympic competition, you’re telling me that this not only is one of them, but has been for 30 years ? (I know they’re athletes and know I couldn’t do what’ they’re doing, I’d immediately crack my skull on the ice…then again I’d like to take a few of them to Hueco and see how they fare).

Now, onto the humor. First of all the outfits are insane. As allison said of one woman’s face decorations “it looks like they Bedazzled her forehead.” Awesome. Also the guys with poofy shirts and mini capes are rad. I want a matching one for me and the dog.

Then there’s the announcers:

“They have some fantastic Twizzles.”

Another Dick Gem:
“That’s a glorious position…”
“Well, I just love watching that…”

Now that’s humorous. Between that and the very soulful and meaningful looks the skaters give each other, I’d like to thank NBC for some quality entertainment and for reinforcing how weird the world is.

(disclaimer: I have mad respect for anyone who gets to the olympics, even in ice dancing. please read this as bitterness that I have no ice dancing cape)

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