Tights
I thought this was just a New York thing, spearheaded by my sister and her cohorts, but no, I’ve seen the slow trickle-down-fashion-effect here too. Just tonight, three young ladies at the coffee shop were sporting this unfortunate trend.
People! Specifically, Women! Tights are not pants! Do not be confused by the 80’s – maybe you’re too young to remember but It wasn’t ok then, and it certainly isn’t now (we have the internet now, you all should know better). It’s fine that people in New York engaged in this – they do a lot of other questionable activities – but for the love of god this is Texas, we’re better than this. This year alone we’ve survived, pants-suits and skinny jeans, I’m not sure that we as a texan-nation can handle another challenge of this magnitude.
Fortunately, the good people at tightsarenotpants.com have provided us resources to defend against the lycra clad onslaught. Download their presskit, and pray for the youth of tomorrow. We must not stand idly by.
Tights are a wonderful indispensable commodity. They allow the moderately poor starving artist to double their wardrobe in the blink of an eye. You are free from the bland world of ‘just pants.’ Life is full of color when you can wear shorts or giant shirts in winter and look 10 lbs thinner while doing it.
No my friend, you have lost this battle. Tights will prevail, for the greater good.