You Know Who You Are

BLINKER BOY – You sat in your powder blue minivan tending your liver spots waiting for someone to move their car out of a prime spot. There wasn’t anyone even walking to a car in that lane, but you know that time and numbers are on your side. You’re also savvy enough to know that if you let another car pass, they may get to a spot first. So you block. And you wait. In the middle. Staking out that lane as yours and creating havoc behind you. Left blinker on if someone walks down the left side of the row, quickly switching to right blinker if they cross. Hazards if they change rows in the middle. I was the guy who lured you to the end of the row by pretending to unlock the silver Acura, only to walk away when you got close. The people you were blocking thanked me. – from the best of craigslist

My absolute favorite display of this behavior: Gold’s gym. Because the walk from the back of the parking lot is just to much to handle right before you walk in to workout. I’m glad I really like my car, otherwise I’d be prone to saying fuckit and start ramming people, MadMax style.