Adobe Customer Service

Recently, I purchased a very shinny new MacPro for the office. I called up, told apple what I wanted, a week later Brown Santa brought me an early Christmas present. Apparently though, Adobe is not Apple. I’ve spent at least an hour on hold today, on what I believe is my fifth or sixth call in the past three months attempting to purchase a $600 software license for Creative Suite 3, thereby being a good, up-standing citizen. Let me be clear: I want to give them money. For their product. Like that whole commerce thing. And they won’t let me. It’s gone something like this:

Call Number Four–
Me: Look, can I just by this from a store ?

Adobe Rep: No Sir, not with a cross-platform upgrade.

Me: So I can’t buy it from them, and I can’t buy it from you either?

AR: Sir, We’re working to correct a problem in our purchasing system. You could always just buy the windows version, and dual boot your Intel Mac….

(Wade sets phone on fire, walks away)

Call number five took the cake today. After twenty minutes of some really bitchin soft-rock hold music, Adobe-helper-dude comes back on the line –

“Ok, I think we’ve got….” Click. Dial tone.

(Uses old Dell laptop/paperweight to smash melted phone)

Call number six –
AR: Sir, I will call you back in thirty minutes and you WILL be able to make your purchase…

(Melted former-phone/laptop creature becomes Ad-hoc soccer ball)

That was four hours ago. And they wonder why people pirate their software?