Toby: Bobby, hey do you know if sell out is one word or is it hyphenated?Bobby: I dunno but damn, these freedom-fries and burgers are good.
Or at least that’s how I imagine the creation of the Toby Keith – I Love This Bar (and Grill), went down. I saw one of these restaurants on my very short trip to Las Vegas last year and was praying it was just one of those Vegas-things like drinking at 7am – funny and kitschy but something that you’re thoroughly disgusted by and pretty much guaranteed to have a negative impact on the rest of your day.
Turns out, this thing is actually a chain, and the outfit in Vegas is just one of many bars (and grills) based on a bad country song. The closest one I could find is in Oklahoma City…by god, we will take up arms at the Red River should that idiot redneck, who can’t find sleeves for any of his shirts, try to sully Texas with such an establishment.
Let me be clear about what’s really irritating me here – I known and enjoyed the company of few rednecks and this guy should not be their representative. Most of them do not have mullets, do have all their teeth and 90% their shirts have sleeves. Many of them do have highly conservative ideals (with which I disagree but respect), a rich history in south and a strong tradition of agriculture (you know, the guys who raise all the stuff you eat, like those freedom fries). North of the Mason-Dixon line they’re called farmers, and respected as providing a vital service to our society. For some reason, a 5th Avenue Marketing firm decided that southern-ag-types (rednecks) are bumbling, alcoholic idiots, and country music, which used to actually mean something in its early folk years, has whored itself out to play along by churning out bumfucks like this guy and his ridiculous restaurant.
From their site…
Leave it to country music legend Toby Keith to create a restaurant that offers great food and the best live music in Oklahoma City.
Really, that’s the best hype you can do? Not to knock Oklahoma here (cause that’s just too easy), but that’s not saying much. Apparently they even offer Redneck Loveseats. What the hell is a Redneck Loveseat? Have Toby Keith’s marketing people not seen Brokeback Mountain? The I Love This Bar (and grill) experience also features over 100 pieces of Toby Keith memorabilia. Has this guy been around long enough to generate that much crap ? Are they going through his trash to find Toby Keith Genuine Used Deodorant sticks?
And yes, you will only find fries of the freedom variety on the menu. There really is no hope for the future.