You people have been bitching at me for years, so I finally got one. What the hell for? The food that comes out of it tastes like rubber-butt, it takes up space in my already small kitchen and it’s using terrorist-funded gamma rays to cook the food. Ok I made the last one up (series of three always seem better), but seriously, about the only thing this is good for is melting ice, and i live in Texas so there’s not a lot of demand for that kind of thing.

Call me back when we can buy jet-packs…the future clearly isn’t here yet.

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