Post Turtle

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While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.”

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.”

Thanks to my dad for this one.

WaMu

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The largest bank failure. Ever.

Federal regulators had been trying to broker a deal for Washington Mutual because a takeover by the F.D.I.C. would have dealt a crushing blow to the federal government’s deposit insurance fund. The fund, which stood at $45.2 billion at the end of June, has been severely depleted after suffering a loss from the sudden collapse of IndyMac Bank. Analysts say that a failure of Washington Mutual would have cost the fund as much as $30 billion or more. – NYT

That sucking sound you hear? That’s your standard-of-living being sucked down into a bottomless pit of debt corruption and corporate greed. This is probably what the prison shower feels like the second you accidentally drop the soap.

Dallas

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Sucks.

Homegame

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Evacuees are getting the boot from hotel rooms as A&M’s first home game approaches. Classy move.

Kevin Smith

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Kevin Smith at the Paramount theater in Austin, for the national premier of Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

It was Inherit the Wind, like I was arguing the fucking Scope’s monkey trial. Seriously, it was the second half of every Law and Order and I was Jack McCoy. Except I was defending myself…the defense attorney is always a guest star anyways… I was like, the hell with film making, I’m going to be a lawyer…

– Smith, on his successful attempt to get the NC-17 rating for Zack and Miri downgraded to an R-rating.

Thank You Tina Fey…

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Sarah Palin’s approval rating slips 10 points in 3 days.

ACL Pre/Postshows

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With Austin City Limits next weekend there’s gogin to be a lot of good music in town, including a lot of non-Festival shows. Check ’em out, a lot of them are free.

Local

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Ike’s silver lining is watching Houston and Galveston start to put itself back together. That stubborn Texas attitude, the refusal to not let this degenerate into another New Orleans. The guy handing out free BBQ in the National Guard staging area. The fact that people are chomping at the bit to get back on to Galveston. Wise or not, Galveston will get put back together. And Houston, despite having 4 million people with no gas or electricity, hasn’t turned into a Lord of the Flies reenactment, and in fact more people seem concerned about when the football games are going to be rescheduled than about their personal predicament.

We can deal with this and we don’t need presidential helicopter flyovers to make us feel better (did the president ever even leave the airport? Way to get out there and comfort the people there George). Likewise get Anderson Cooper and the national media to quit talking about the destruction of ‘Bolivar Island’ (it’s a peninsula you ass-hats, look at a map). Go home and stop blocking the causeway so we can get to work.

(All Ike photo’s are blatantly lifted from the Housotn Chronicle)

Meltdown

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Interesting graphic from the New York Times illustrating lost value on Wall Street. If I’m reading this right $4 trillion has simply vanished. Glad I have a pension… oh…wait….I have 401(k)….